WOW, has it been that long already. You have to understand that I have no idea what day of the week it is. Sometimes, I wake up and I am scared that it is the day after tomorrow, then I realise/hope that someone would have come to check I was alive. (The photo? Yeah, that’s me… in the tropics… Yeah, I know. My hair looks great. THANKS!)
I have indulged myself over the last few missives mainly by spouting my internal flim-flam and mental wonderings but it appears that it was at the detriment of actual CONTENT. People like to read about actual things. So this time, I am making a conscious effort to have a focus. Let’s try talking about diving. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin.
My days are orientated by whether I am diving or not and if it I am assisting on a course. This week has been all about assisting for me and all the other DiverMaster Trainees (DMTs)… yeah, I know, there are more of us now. There is Eva who was here when I arrived back. From what I have seen and been told, she can hold her own in the bar and definitely in the ocean. Suzi/Suzanne loves being in the water and no matter what time of day, I turn around and she is in the pool. Me OBVIOUSLY – ‘the first’ and original zero to hero Liquid DiveMaster. Laura is here doing her rescue and this time next week she will be working towards her DM. AND FINALLY, Juilette arrived with wide eyes and calm, understated excitement. Alfred the resort’s official DiveMaster continues to be an inspiration and then there are our instructors – Gui ‘le beurre’ and also ‘our old friend’ who is wandering about in the depths of the blue surrounding Malapascua. Basically, there are LOADS of new people. Oh how could I forget, Phil and Elin are here now under the guise of Management and all round badasses. So far, they had a wonderful impact on the place LONG may it continue.
The staff have taken been given the chance to do their PADI Open Water and so the pool has been filled with excited Filippinos and 
(slightly) frantic DMTs trying to stop them floating away, drinking the water out of their snorkels and generally keeping everything in control. The role of a DMT while assisting is basically to make sure everything that the instructor needs in on hand, while also looking after students and perhaps helping them through the trickier skills. Personally, I LOVE assisting on courses because you get to see peoples happy shock and growing awe at how easy it is to breath underwater and THEN there are the fish. EVERYWHERE. I get a properly euphoric feeling when diving with newbies because it reminds me of why I am here and invigorates me even on the slowest of days. Gui and I are becoming a better and better team which is gently solidifying a friendship for many years to come. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. While assisting in the open water we basically end up riding the student’s tank ‘like a little pony’ (my words) to make sure they do not ascend too quickly.
Daily life is hotting up both literally (the sun is back… and this time it wants revenge) and metaphorically. The life of a DiveMaster and the training that precedes it is fairly all encompassing. Of an average day, I can expect to be welcoming new guests *INSERT HOLLYWOOD WINK AND GUN*, cleaning and servicing equipment, mapping new dive sites or errrrr, DIVING. More accurately, I could be guiding, briefing procedures for, buddy-ing up with guests or assisting Gui on certifications. This week Suzi, Eva and I have been refining our skills to “demonstration quality”. What are these skills you talk of? Witchcraft? Shamanism? Baking? Nope. I am talking about displaying diving techniques. These vary greatly from clearing your mask of water, removing and replacing your weight-belt while underwater or air depletion scenarios. What is this demonstration quality malarkey and why is it necessary for a DiveMaster? Ultimately if I am assisting on a course it may be the case that need to help a student if they are having problems with a skills so demonstration quality basically means slow, grand gestures with plenty of “remember, don’t put your mask on upside down” using only hand signals. It’s like training to be an aquatic Marcel Marceau.
Fear not good people, most of the times in between these strenuous and hectic days, I am found reclining in my favourite corner of the chill out area or propping up the bar. Both important parts of my personal life training. It was with sheer delight that a good friend from my previous life in London – Gav – was out here whence I returned. He is the reason I ended up in this corner of paradise because he put me in touch with Zoe last April. April 10th to be precise. I think that day will be forever etched into my life as a turning point. Thanks Gav, it was properly wonderful to see you here even if was for only a few days. Gav and I worked together and shared MANY a night in the pub, so bringing him, Zoe (a childhood friend since the age of 3), me and everyone else at Liquid together… on a night out… could only end in carnage. It is here that I will use a direct quotation from Gav himself:
“Well last night went like this – 4 dinners between 3, jugs of cocktails, Philippine Reggae band, 9 people on a tricycle, random club, dice based drinking game, accidental punch on the nose, French love triangle, drunken man from Lincoln, disgruntled prostitutes, fun with static electricity and a bear, 4 people sleeping in a tricycle, a torchlit walk home and a persistent ladyboy called Stephen then some excellent star gazing from a volcanic beach. Pretty average Wednesday night really”
I don’t think I need to elaborate.
I thought I would leave you with MY favourite underwater creature that I have found and fortunately for me, they are along the coast. It is a flambouyant cuttle fish. They are about 1-2 inches long. If you wave your hand near them, first they go into hover mode THEN, they go crazy displaying white and purple stripes. I am not sure if you have ever seen a cuttle fish BUT they are able to change colour to blend with their surroundings. They display these colours to confuse and put-off any predators. Have a look HERE for a video taken my John one of our former guests.
Have a listen to Michael Kiwanuka – Home Again. Don’t get me wrong, I am not homesick BUT I love my home, my friends and my family both here and in the UK. This song fills me with a warmth that could only be emulated by having all these people in one place. One beautiful place.
Take it easy people. Until the next time,
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